A Bride’s Do-Not-Do List

The evolution of a girl into a bride is honestly like that of a scary Pokemon, or moldy bread. Brides are truly some of the most ridiculous, exorbitant creatures, creating mass chaos and frenzy at every turn. As a freshly engaged, bride-to-be, I find myself and others, committing some awful bridal dont’s from the onset, though I’m not sure if I qualify as bridezilla-worthy yet. Hypocritical at the least, I probably am not qualified to start dishing bridal advice either, but I look at the list (and it’s a list in progress, I assure you) as opportunities to learn and correct, and to make this a less stressful, more memorable experience for myself, and maybe even you.

1. Don’t fall victim to comparing your situation to others. It’s natural to look to others to gage where we rank, but there’s no rank. This is not a competition, ladies. No one wins. There is no prize given to the gal with the 10ct ring, or the babe with the hot bridal body. You are marrying the man of your dreams, what more do you need?
2. Pinterest is a blessing and a burden. When I got engaged, and honestly even before that, I had my wedding board ready to go with ideas, DIYs, and wishful thinkings. My virtual wedding is spectacular, but I cannot possibly translate that to real life. It is there to inspire and give ideas, but you cannot have a wedding full of mason jars and DIY photobooths (nor should you). I mean, do you really want your wedding to look like something a million other girls pinned?
3. You cannot have it all. A budget is your friend. You may not feel that way now, but think about it: why spend SO much on one night (or if you’re Indian like me, then one week of festivities), when you can spend on a fabulous honeymoon, or post-wedding home decor?
4. It is just a party, which means fun is necessary and if you’re not having fun, you are doing it wrong. The hair, makeup, nails, clothes, jewelry, shoes, decor, cake, entrance song, catering, lighting, photographer, DJ, venue–all of it is there for one night of fun. Do not forget that.
5. There will always be issues, but not everything is a bad omen or sign. Stuff just is. Like most women, I am so psychotic superstitious. If my neighbor’s dog sneezes on the day of the wedding, I might have a nervous breakdown and start doubting my life because it’s a sign. No. I am wrong. And if you do this, so are you. Shit happens.
6. He does not care. If you think he actually cares about this wedding, you are wrong. He cares about you and your happiness. Guys are different and will probably not notice the little monogram details on the napkins you were obsessing over. He loves you, not the bouquet or the dessert table.
7. This is not your “princess moment”. What we have been lead to believe is that a wedding is mostly about the girl. No. It’s about a beautiful relationship between two people who love each other. If it were every girl’s “princess moment”, it would not bring out our inner ugly. Want to be royalty? Handle the attention with humbleness, class, and appreciate it. Don’t let your head inflate into this self-centered idea that it’s okay to treat everyone like shit because you are the bride.
8. Be extra conscious of your girls that are unmarried or single. Brides get really mushy and gross during this feeble time, often leaving their girlfriends feeling bitter and secretly jealous, especially in their inner circle of bridesmaids. In your twenties, many of your friends are getting married, which is great, but if you aren’t there yet, it could really suck. Jealousy is an ugly color to wear to a wedding, so be mindful.
9. Think beyond. I know girls that have made it their life mission to get married. Once they get engaged, they become different people and every two minutes there’s wedding talk. It’s like they have no personality because their wedding is their personality. What are you going to do after it’s all done? Are you going to support yourself with reels of your wedding highlights? No. Think past the wedding.
10. Expectations are a bitch. I suck at this because I unfortunately have really high expectations for myself and the way I do things. I can’t expect it all to happen, and that too, happen smoothly. I cannot expect people to stop their lives to cater to my needs. I cannot expect my fiancé to know every detail of the wedding nor can I expect Mother Nature to not be a bitch on the day of the wedding.

As I was writing this, my fiancé was suggesting some other things brides should not do like crystal meth, sell organs, commit murder, take candy from strangers, and run with scissors, which I felt were morbid, yet valid suggestions. You’re welcome. 

All images via Pinterest